Come Over Anytime

My boyfriend's cousin came over.

He just cleaned our kitchen despite my protests.

I'm having an incredibly stressful and busy week.

It was much appreciated!

Children of Men

Wow!

Dark: yes.

Gripping: yes.

Sucks you in completely: yes.

I thought it was incredible, yet horrifying.

My favorite scene: When all the people and soldiers made a path for the girl.

Almost There!

Yesterday, I finished the last of my big projects, including an invitation to a graduation party at my house.

My professor is coming to observe me Wednesday so I need to write a lesson plan for that, but I'm otherwise done.

It feels so good to have my weekend free.

Now I just have to clean up the mess I made doing all of it.

Plus, I have something every night this week, so the stress is not quite done yet.

But it's quite a celebration anyway.

Ruining Webber

I got all excited about Andrew Lloyd Webber night on American Idol.

I was horribly disappointed.

I love musical theater- I love watching it, listening to it, and singing it. Andrew Lloyd Webber is probably my favorite musical theater composer.

The contestants ruined the songs. I thought Syesha was the only one to do it justice (and if I didn't hate her so much, I'd give a little nod to Carly).

For the first time, watching AI was a complete waste of my time.

Yuck!

Yippee!

I've been working incredibly hard during the past two weeks trying to get all my final projects done for the end of my Master's program.

As of this moment I'm one table of contents, one three page summary, and one lesson plan and observation away from being finished.

It just finished creating my 90 page portfolio.

It feels so good to be this close.

Personal Goals Update

For the first time, I set some goals for myself for the new year. I thought it was time for a check-in to see how I'm doing.

My goals and progress:

1. I want to get back to exercising.
I've been exercising regularly for the past month. Sadly, I've gained weight rather than lost, but after investing in an elliptical trainer, I intend to keep it up and get my momey's worth.


2. I do not want to buy a single article of clothing!
I've bought three things (a huge improvement): a pair of jeans when I lost weight, sweatshirts, and an appropriate dressy outfit for an event. I've certainly looked and lusted, but I haven't bought anything else. It's the hardest right now with the weather changing and all the newest clothes in stores, but I switched out my winter and summer clothes so it's almost like getting a new wardrobe.

3. I want to write an article for Dawn every week.
I've only written twice. Maybe this summer?

4. I want to purge.
I've organized the basement. I've gotten rid of pretty much an entire wardrobe, but I still have a long way to go. Hopefully this will be another summer project.

5. Part of my plan to get rid of stuff is to actually get back to scrapbooking.
I started organizing my photos, and I bought a tray table to set up shop, but I've done nothing else. I'm not really upset about this considering that I'm finishing my Master's right now. I have very little extra time for such a big project. I did reorganize my supplies and made them more accessible.

6. I want to transfer all of my home videos to digital files.
Done. I may have to redo a couple, but I did them all. So far I've made two movies out of them and transferred one directly to DVD. I want more time to spend on this.

7. I want to learn to let go of things.
A work in progress.

So far, not bad.

A Five Year History

I need to look back on how far I've come.

Five years ago: I was still getting over the oss of my daughter and was a month into my current job. I was terrified about getting fired (after the trauma of my previous job). The kids and staff were awful to me. My lessons were full of creativity and passion. I had an awesome classroom even though it was really just a sectioned off corner of the cafeteria. I was living with my best friend, but things weren't so great.

Four years ago: I was painting and doing floors in the apartment my then fiance's dad built for us. I was already getting the signs that things weren't going to work out. My fiance had quit his job shortly after our engagement and usually spent half the day sleeping while his dad and I worked on the apartment. I was exhausted from working so hard and beginning to be poorer than I'd ever been by supporting two people instead of one.

Three years ago: I discovered by accident that my fiance had been lying to me for months. While I was asleep, he was out with another girl. He told me he was at work but the truth was that he'd quit and started sneaking around with a girl rom his other job. He continued to lie about all of it until I found proof and he couldn't lie. I started saving up to move out. I was about to sign up for my Master's program but put it on hold because I couldn't afford it.

Two years ago: I was getting ready to (finally) move out into my own place. I had rediscovered what it was like to have friends and people who cared. I was finally realizing that I was worth more than the life I was living. I signed up for my Master's program. I moved out in June.

One year ago: My beau and I sped up our plans to move in together. He moved in in May. I was being recognized at work and school as someone who was destined for bigger things. I was seeing my daughter more often and feeling like family whenever I did. I had made some great friends and actually had them over my apartment.

Today: I'm in the most beautiful apartment I've ever lived in. I'm a month away from getting my Master's. My beau and are still blissfully happy. My daughter wants to spend more and more time with me. I'm exercising and getting healthy. I'm a leader at work- for my team, for the math program, for hiring new employees. Administrators come to me for my opinion and my help. My best friend comes by regularly to play games. I have a new and wonderful extended family courtesy of my beau.

My life is settling down quite nicely.

iTunes

My iTunes is broken.

I opened it this morning and it said the file was damaged.

All the playlists are gone. I mean all the playlists, not just the ones I created, but all the default playlists too.

I tried updating the program, but it didn't fix it.

I was able to restore the library of songs. At first only a small portion of songs showed up, but I was able to add all the other stuff I've imported.

I was going to recreate my playlists by play count, but the playcount only works for the songs that originally showed up.

I use the recently added playlist all the time, but it's gone.

There is no help feature for disappearing playlists.

This is bad timing as I have a ton of work to do and I rely on my different playlists for different things (like my exercise playlist).

I have almost 6000 songs in iTunes so recreating my playlists is not a small task. Plus, I have no way of knowing if some of my CDs still didn't make it back in.

What a strange problem.

The Sweetest Phone Call

I just got off the phone with my daughter.

Aside from the fact that it was a much needed chat, she was so incredibly sweet.

She started in by inviting me to come over (now!) to play games with her.

She told me about some recent happenings that I promised not to share ("I'm not telling anyone, but I'll tell you cuz you're my birthmom").

She decided she wanted me as a teacher and when I explained that I don't live near her, she said she was going to move out here so I could be her teacher.

She told me she wanted to call me first thing in the morning and that I should get up early to do so.

She gave me kisses (lots of them) over the phone and told me she loved me and that she misses me.

It was a great, great, great phone call!

My apartment

Remember this?

Fluff

I just wanted to note that I love AI's dreadlocked Jason Castro. My kind of guy plus my kind of music.

Don't Be Jealous!

Today is going by so incredibly slowly.

Maybe it's because I've been on overdrive for a couple of weeks, but I keep looking for something else to do, then looking at the time and being rather amazed.

I didn't get up til about 9 (I've been sleeping about 12 hours every Friday night). By the time I did my coffee and computer routine, it was already 10:30.

And yet, since then, I've gone to the post office to mail packages; done dishes and cleaned all the counters; unpacked my suitcase from my trip and organized the contents; sorted, washed, and folded four loads of laundry; cleaned my car, caught up on a month's worth of three different blogs; exercised; and showered.

Plus, I've done a bit of wandering and fiddling and TV watching and smoking and reading.

And it's only quarter to 4.

I know lots of you would give a limb for a slow day like today to catch up on life, but I'm feeling a bit stir-crazy. Luckily the beau and I have two commitments tonight to get us out of the house.

I'm too tired to do some of what needs to be done, but too restless to simply waste the day away.

I am, however, about to settle in for a coffee break. I still have over two hours to fill.

Missing my Memere

Today I'm missing my memere.

I did a project for one of my classes this summer and one of the sections was about the long line of strong women in my family. My memere was the inspiration for that. She was completely different from any grandmothers I have ever known. She was so funny, and so loving, and so strong.

She worked her whole life in a time when women often didn't. Until the day she died, she continued to work doing the bookkeeping for the family business.

She told amazing stories, and sang songs, and danced.

She was incredibly generous and had warm and open arms for everyone- no matter their differences- in fact, she seemed to thrive on learning about other cultures and religions.

The times at her house were always magical. They were filled with joy, laughter, and song. In her small apartment, the whole family would gather and celebrate- it was always a celebration.

She had been involved in theater for much of her life and passed that gene onto her children. The whole evening would be a performance.

A couple of years ago, we stopped having Christmas at her house. I was devastated. In the meantime, more of her children relocated so there were fewer gatherings at her home. I've missed those times.

I kept waiting for another time at my memere's. It was something I really wanted my daughter to experience. I'm so sad that that will never happen. My daughter never met my memere. By the time our relationship was strong enough for that to be a possibility, the gatherings had mostly stopped.

I'm mourning what my memere represented in our family; I'm mourning the fact that she never met my daughter, and I'm feeling guilty about how long it has been since I saw her.

Many years ago, I went to Panama. My memere was very religious and I brought back a beautiful little statue of The Last Supper to give to her. She loved it and gave it its own special place in her home.

I miss her spirit- at the funeral mass, everyone mentioned my memere's joie de vivre. It describes her so well. She lived her whole life that way. Nobody comes close to her. Even though she lived a long and beautiful life, her loss is a truly great one.

I'm Back!

The trip was good though the flights were too long.

I didn't find as many must-see presentations as the last time, but I still went to a few good presentations. I definitely need to submit a proposal for next year's conference.

My colleague loved it. She's in her second year of teaching so it makes sense that she got a great deal out of it. Still, I was relieved that she did. We were also excited to discover while we were there that she passed the test I tutored her for. Yippee!

I'm completely overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do for my graduate program in the next two weeks.

I'm also so tired that I scooped sugar into the coffee maker instead of coffee this morning.

Going Away

I'm off to the annual NCTM conference in Utah. Woo-hoo!

Gifts

Someone at work is leaving anonymous gifts in my box.

Little supplies with sweet notes attached.

I'm having a difficult school year- too many responsibilities, personal stuff- so the gifts are especially sweet.

Last night I was also given a sweet little birthday celebration by my sweetie's family. They also got me lots of gifts.

I feel so loved.