Courtesy of my Aunt Janice:
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,
when behind him he hears:
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything,
but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and,
(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops,
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
Poor Statue, Her Car, and the Very Nice Classmate
I had school last weekend and for that class, I had to go to a different location. Because of the distance, I got a hotel and spent the weekend there.
Saturday morning, I pull onto the main road and my driver's side door flys open. Musn't have closed it right.
Slam.
Nope, still not closing.
The latching mechanism was broken.
We tried to fix it, but no luck. So I parked near the school and went in, worrying. How was I going to drive two hours home with a door that wouldn't close?
Classmate to the rescue! She came out with a tool kit, ready to take the door apart. Unfortunately, she didn't have the right screwdriver, so she took me to a local hardware store instead so I could get duct tape and then she helped me duct tape the door closed by running the duct tape around the top of the driver and passenger windows. She was completely unfazed and totally helpful to me, a girl she barely knew. I tried to buy her lunch the next day, but she refused.
I made it home safely on Sunday, but by then I had decided that my car was not going to make it to ten years. It was time. It didn't make sense to keep fixing a car that was slowly falling apart.
So Monday night, I went and picked out a new car which I picked up yesterday.
It was a little sad, and a little overwhelming, and also exciting.
My new car looks very nice (it's so grown up!) and drives well. This morning was frosty and it was nice not to worry about how my car would respond to the cold. My last day with my old car, it would barely move. I wondered if I would even make it to the dealership.
So I have a new place and a new car, and a lot of great people in my life right now. Random strangers, classmates, and friends to hand me their car keys for a week like this.
And the nice thing is that although this was very unexpected and I was financially unprepared, my bills have been coming in and I owe on very few because I paid extra last month. I knew that paying just a little extra would come in handy sometime.
Saturday morning, I pull onto the main road and my driver's side door flys open. Musn't have closed it right.
Slam.
Nope, still not closing.
The latching mechanism was broken.
We tried to fix it, but no luck. So I parked near the school and went in, worrying. How was I going to drive two hours home with a door that wouldn't close?
Classmate to the rescue! She came out with a tool kit, ready to take the door apart. Unfortunately, she didn't have the right screwdriver, so she took me to a local hardware store instead so I could get duct tape and then she helped me duct tape the door closed by running the duct tape around the top of the driver and passenger windows. She was completely unfazed and totally helpful to me, a girl she barely knew. I tried to buy her lunch the next day, but she refused.
I made it home safely on Sunday, but by then I had decided that my car was not going to make it to ten years. It was time. It didn't make sense to keep fixing a car that was slowly falling apart.
So Monday night, I went and picked out a new car which I picked up yesterday.
It was a little sad, and a little overwhelming, and also exciting.
My new car looks very nice (it's so grown up!) and drives well. This morning was frosty and it was nice not to worry about how my car would respond to the cold. My last day with my old car, it would barely move. I wondered if I would even make it to the dealership.
So I have a new place and a new car, and a lot of great people in my life right now. Random strangers, classmates, and friends to hand me their car keys for a week like this.
And the nice thing is that although this was very unexpected and I was financially unprepared, my bills have been coming in and I owe on very few because I paid extra last month. I knew that paying just a little extra would come in handy sometime.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
On Karaoke
I love to sing. I always have. Singing also happens to be my most effective means of stress relief.
After college, I no longer had regular opportunities to sing, so when I found myself at a particularly low point, I started going to karaoke bars. This had the added benefit of getting me out of the house.
I went alone. I would get all dressed up and head out for some fun. At karaoke, I was not self-conscious. I was not shy. I was not that serious, aloof person I was everywhere else.
At first I had to get used to it. Singing karaoke is not the same as just singing. My strength lies in showtunes or religious music- neither are good karaoke styles.
I enjoyed the challenge though so I found some pop tunes that I enjoyed and tried to steer clear of ballads. It was fun.
I made friends with a lot of the regulars. One of my best friends (hi Jay!) is from those karaoke days. Way back when, I also dated the reigning "karaoke king". He wants to entertain for a living and the crowd goes wild for him. The two of us made a good karaoke pair (I like to think I had a brief stint as the "karaoke queen" back then) but it really didn't translate outside of karaoke. I still see him out and about and he still wows a crowd.
I participated in a few contests back then at the places where I was a regular. I usually made it into the top ten, but I never really had a shot at a big win. I was okay with that. I'm not a crowd pleaser. I'm someone who sings. Karaoke contests are not really about being able to sing (although it is part of it), it's about working a crowd. And usually all it takes is one great song.
I confess that occassionally it would frustrate me to know that I could sing at least 50 songs well and then some guy (more on the guy/girl issue later) would get up there with his one crowd pleaser to take the prize. I need a five song contest- not a one song contest.
And I'm a girl. Girls don't win karaoke contests because:
My birthday, back in March, fell on a saturday this year. I wanted to go to karoke so I called my karaoke friend to find out who has Saturday night karaoke these days. There was one place though I'd never been there. So I went and they were having a contest. I didn't tell anyone it was my birthday. If I had, I probably would have won that night. I didn't win. I lost to a regular (another karaoke contest must- we don't take well to random strangers coming into our bars and trying to overshadow us). I was okay with that. And I really like this place- it fit my new karaoke persona more than the bars I used to frequent. Plus, saturday night karaoke fits my lifestyle far better than any other night.
So I started going there fairly often. I eventually qualified for the finals, but mostly I just went to have fun. This summer, the qualifying rounds were over and we were waiting for the finals which got postponed so much that we all assumed they would never be held. With my new social life, I brought quite a few people there with me and I'd sing and have fun and life was good.
"Karaoke king" started showing up there sometimes, but I didn't think much of it. There was another guy, a regular there, who was absolutely incredible. He had the whole package- amazing voice, charisma, cool looks. My very honest friends and I knew that if finals ever were held, this guy would win. I would bring new people and say, "wait til you hear this guy." Friends would bring their friends and say the same. As for "karaoke king", he's very over-the-top. He has a great voice but he's all about the show. That's his bit. Without it, he blends in. This other guy didn't need the show. He had the real deal. Plus, I didn't think that "karoke king" had started going there in time to make the contest.
School started and there were no finals. I stopped going out because I'm tired and busy and stressed.
Last Friday I got a call. The contest was that weekend. I needed to pick three songs (this was an unusual and great thing about this contest- no one hit wonders).
So last Saturday, I gathered up two friends and off we went. I had to pick three songs. One would be randomly drawn for my shot in the top twelve. The top half of the twelve would compete again the following week. Three people would eventually win money. Oh, and "karaoke king" was in the contest. Damn. My shot at second place had now become a hope for third. I still thought the other guy would take top prize (as did all my friends). "Karaoke king" just kind of complicated matters. Still, I really hoped that the judges wouldn't appreciate over-the-top.
I made it into the top six without a problem. In fact, I probably would have taken top prize that week. Awesome guy was off his game. Regardless, I was just hoping for third.
So last night came.
Now the thing with karaoke is that to do a great job, you really have to know the song and singing along with the radio does not mean you can actually sing that song. I've sung bunches of songs that I can rock in the car but not so much on stage. I am also usually completely surprised by what others consider my best songs. I had wanted to try something new for the contest and for a little while I did try out new stuff, but eventually I didn't get out as much. So with the last minute notice, I was pretty much forced to stick to my standbys and even more, to stick with stuff I'd sung recently enough to be sure I wouldn't screw up.
I was told I would need two songs. The judges were all about being fair. They didn't want to award money based on one song. Good for me and bad for me because I just wasn't prepared enough. I stuck with the two songs I'd been debating on.
The six of us sang. They announced the top three who would be singing again: "karaoke king", awesome guy, me. I got my wish- top three. I was okay with losing to awesome guy (in fact, I considered it to be inevitable- who can beat awesome guy?) but I did not want to lose to "karaoke king" We've been karaoke-ing together for about six years and I just wanted to beat him once. I was expecting awesome guy, king, then me, but was hoping for awesome guy, me, then king.
The three of us sang again. I had that third round (the judges said so later, too) but the winners would be determined by adding the two scores.
The three of us got called up.
Drumroll, please.
Third place: Awesome guy.
Huh? Awesome guy? Where is he going? Third? Not possible!
King and I hug and joke a bit about it being left to the two of us- it is pretty funny- definitely reminiscent of old times.
Second place: Me
Um, wow. Damn, I didn't beat king, but whoa, I beat awesome guy? They think I'm better than awesome guy? I am torn. The results are backwards. I mean, I got the best I could have hoped for, but the whole thing is a little screwy.
And to add to the drama, the week before, there was a cutoff time for participants to show up. A few people didn't make it. DJ girl had to call "king" to ask where he was and yell at him to get his butt over there. He forgot about it. So if she hadn't made that call (or if she had stuck to the original cutoff time) I actually could have won. (And just in case anybody who knows all of us reads this, I happen to love this DJ and think she is one of the nicest sweetest people in the world so I am in no way upset that she called him, etc. I just think it's interesting) I can't believe it.
So I got some money and a yummy shot on the house and it's probably good that I wasn't driving because I was a bit tipsy by the end of the night (usually I'm not- I hate the loss of control that comes with overdoing alcohol) but in good spirits.
And I was excited because my wonderful junior high friend came and she's just great. I didn't really invite anyone because it was last minute and most of my friends don't really like going to karaoke and I'm always a little uncomfortable having people there just for me and not because they actually want to be there.
That was a really nice treat for what has been a really tough month.
And awesome guy, I don't know what happened. I have a feeling that he felt just like me: we're okay with losing to each other, but not to "karaoke king". And I feel okay with saying that he'd be okay with me winning because we definitely have a mutual respect for each other. He was one of my biggest supporters when I first started going there and he doesan't just randomly give out compliments. Because awesome guy is just great. We also figure that he went in thinking the win was his. He left in a hurry without even getting his free shot so I think he was mad. He should be. It was backwards.
For his part though, "karaoke king" was especially gracious. I generally consider him to be full of himself which is part of why I wanted to beat him. But he came over to me and said that when he heard my second song, he thought he got beat, that I was great and told me that the judges said how close it was. The main judge (who I think owns the place) was talking to the DJ for about fifteen minutes while she tellingly kept glancing at me and the other finalists right before they announced the winners so I think there was definitely some decision-making being done.
Yay, karaoke! And now I can go back to singing for fun so I can try some new songs. I really need to update my repertoire.
After college, I no longer had regular opportunities to sing, so when I found myself at a particularly low point, I started going to karaoke bars. This had the added benefit of getting me out of the house.
I went alone. I would get all dressed up and head out for some fun. At karaoke, I was not self-conscious. I was not shy. I was not that serious, aloof person I was everywhere else.
At first I had to get used to it. Singing karaoke is not the same as just singing. My strength lies in showtunes or religious music- neither are good karaoke styles.
I enjoyed the challenge though so I found some pop tunes that I enjoyed and tried to steer clear of ballads. It was fun.
I made friends with a lot of the regulars. One of my best friends (hi Jay!) is from those karaoke days. Way back when, I also dated the reigning "karaoke king". He wants to entertain for a living and the crowd goes wild for him. The two of us made a good karaoke pair (I like to think I had a brief stint as the "karaoke queen" back then) but it really didn't translate outside of karaoke. I still see him out and about and he still wows a crowd.
I participated in a few contests back then at the places where I was a regular. I usually made it into the top ten, but I never really had a shot at a big win. I was okay with that. I'm not a crowd pleaser. I'm someone who sings. Karaoke contests are not really about being able to sing (although it is part of it), it's about working a crowd. And usually all it takes is one great song.
I confess that occassionally it would frustrate me to know that I could sing at least 50 songs well and then some guy (more on the guy/girl issue later) would get up there with his one crowd pleaser to take the prize. I need a five song contest- not a one song contest.
And I'm a girl. Girls don't win karaoke contests because:
- Girls are mean to each other. Guys support all guys. Girls barely support their friends. Crowd reaction is usually a judging category.
- Guys can do crazy disgusting things to get a reaction and everyone laughs. Girls would be slutty if they did that.
- There are way more crowd pleasing guy songs than girl songs and while a girl singing a guy song well may get her into the finals- it will not get her a win (unless she is my friend, Sarah, who I don't think has ever done a contest but would win if she ever did).
- There are millions of girls who can really sing and people are tired of them. It's much more noticable to hear a guy who can sing. Guys don't usually put themselves out there like that.
- The aforementioned "karaoke king" can sing a duet perfectly using a lovely falsetto for the girl's part and it is awesome and wow-inducing and attention-grabbing. I've never seen a female equivalent of this feat.
My birthday, back in March, fell on a saturday this year. I wanted to go to karoke so I called my karaoke friend to find out who has Saturday night karaoke these days. There was one place though I'd never been there. So I went and they were having a contest. I didn't tell anyone it was my birthday. If I had, I probably would have won that night. I didn't win. I lost to a regular (another karaoke contest must- we don't take well to random strangers coming into our bars and trying to overshadow us). I was okay with that. And I really like this place- it fit my new karaoke persona more than the bars I used to frequent. Plus, saturday night karaoke fits my lifestyle far better than any other night.
So I started going there fairly often. I eventually qualified for the finals, but mostly I just went to have fun. This summer, the qualifying rounds were over and we were waiting for the finals which got postponed so much that we all assumed they would never be held. With my new social life, I brought quite a few people there with me and I'd sing and have fun and life was good.
"Karaoke king" started showing up there sometimes, but I didn't think much of it. There was another guy, a regular there, who was absolutely incredible. He had the whole package- amazing voice, charisma, cool looks. My very honest friends and I knew that if finals ever were held, this guy would win. I would bring new people and say, "wait til you hear this guy." Friends would bring their friends and say the same. As for "karaoke king", he's very over-the-top. He has a great voice but he's all about the show. That's his bit. Without it, he blends in. This other guy didn't need the show. He had the real deal. Plus, I didn't think that "karoke king" had started going there in time to make the contest.
School started and there were no finals. I stopped going out because I'm tired and busy and stressed.
Last Friday I got a call. The contest was that weekend. I needed to pick three songs (this was an unusual and great thing about this contest- no one hit wonders).
So last Saturday, I gathered up two friends and off we went. I had to pick three songs. One would be randomly drawn for my shot in the top twelve. The top half of the twelve would compete again the following week. Three people would eventually win money. Oh, and "karaoke king" was in the contest. Damn. My shot at second place had now become a hope for third. I still thought the other guy would take top prize (as did all my friends). "Karaoke king" just kind of complicated matters. Still, I really hoped that the judges wouldn't appreciate over-the-top.
I made it into the top six without a problem. In fact, I probably would have taken top prize that week. Awesome guy was off his game. Regardless, I was just hoping for third.
So last night came.
Now the thing with karaoke is that to do a great job, you really have to know the song and singing along with the radio does not mean you can actually sing that song. I've sung bunches of songs that I can rock in the car but not so much on stage. I am also usually completely surprised by what others consider my best songs. I had wanted to try something new for the contest and for a little while I did try out new stuff, but eventually I didn't get out as much. So with the last minute notice, I was pretty much forced to stick to my standbys and even more, to stick with stuff I'd sung recently enough to be sure I wouldn't screw up.
I was told I would need two songs. The judges were all about being fair. They didn't want to award money based on one song. Good for me and bad for me because I just wasn't prepared enough. I stuck with the two songs I'd been debating on.
The six of us sang. They announced the top three who would be singing again: "karaoke king", awesome guy, me. I got my wish- top three. I was okay with losing to awesome guy (in fact, I considered it to be inevitable- who can beat awesome guy?) but I did not want to lose to "karaoke king" We've been karaoke-ing together for about six years and I just wanted to beat him once. I was expecting awesome guy, king, then me, but was hoping for awesome guy, me, then king.
The three of us sang again. I had that third round (the judges said so later, too) but the winners would be determined by adding the two scores.
The three of us got called up.
Drumroll, please.
Third place: Awesome guy.
Huh? Awesome guy? Where is he going? Third? Not possible!
King and I hug and joke a bit about it being left to the two of us- it is pretty funny- definitely reminiscent of old times.
Second place: Me
Um, wow. Damn, I didn't beat king, but whoa, I beat awesome guy? They think I'm better than awesome guy? I am torn. The results are backwards. I mean, I got the best I could have hoped for, but the whole thing is a little screwy.
And to add to the drama, the week before, there was a cutoff time for participants to show up. A few people didn't make it. DJ girl had to call "king" to ask where he was and yell at him to get his butt over there. He forgot about it. So if she hadn't made that call (or if she had stuck to the original cutoff time) I actually could have won. (And just in case anybody who knows all of us reads this, I happen to love this DJ and think she is one of the nicest sweetest people in the world so I am in no way upset that she called him, etc. I just think it's interesting) I can't believe it.
So I got some money and a yummy shot on the house and it's probably good that I wasn't driving because I was a bit tipsy by the end of the night (usually I'm not- I hate the loss of control that comes with overdoing alcohol) but in good spirits.
And I was excited because my wonderful junior high friend came and she's just great. I didn't really invite anyone because it was last minute and most of my friends don't really like going to karaoke and I'm always a little uncomfortable having people there just for me and not because they actually want to be there.
That was a really nice treat for what has been a really tough month.
And awesome guy, I don't know what happened. I have a feeling that he felt just like me: we're okay with losing to each other, but not to "karaoke king". And I feel okay with saying that he'd be okay with me winning because we definitely have a mutual respect for each other. He was one of my biggest supporters when I first started going there and he doesan't just randomly give out compliments. Because awesome guy is just great. We also figure that he went in thinking the win was his. He left in a hurry without even getting his free shot so I think he was mad. He should be. It was backwards.
For his part though, "karaoke king" was especially gracious. I generally consider him to be full of himself which is part of why I wanted to beat him. But he came over to me and said that when he heard my second song, he thought he got beat, that I was great and told me that the judges said how close it was. The main judge (who I think owns the place) was talking to the DJ for about fifteen minutes while she tellingly kept glancing at me and the other finalists right before they announced the winners so I think there was definitely some decision-making being done.
Yay, karaoke! And now I can go back to singing for fun so I can try some new songs. I really need to update my repertoire.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Sunday Toy Day
I've been trying to figure out ewhat to do since I've run out of Potato in Salem pictures.
I've finally decided.
Sunday will be toy day. I have plenty and I need to start going through them and it might inspire me to write some back story of that toy in my memory.
My camera is at the cleaners, but I'll be picking it up next week so I can start taking some pictures.
For now, an old picture:
I've finally decided.
Sunday will be toy day. I have plenty and I need to start going through them and it might inspire me to write some back story of that toy in my memory.
My camera is at the cleaners, but I'll be picking it up next week so I can start taking some pictures.
For now, an old picture:
Lying to Your Partner
Sweet baggage is having some problems at home and getting some advice that reminded me of a recent event in my life. Nothing in my life compares to what baggage is dealing with so I refrained from commenting and came here instead.
I recently wanted to lie to my new beau (yeah, there's someone).
I wanted to do something completely innocent but I screwed up my schedule and had two (actually three) sets of plans on the same day. I see my beau plenty so I wanted to keep the other plans. I was afraid he'd be mad. My first instinct was to lie.
I stopped myself.
1. Because I hate lying.
2. Because if I were to lie, I wouldn't be able to talk about my other plans ever.
3. Because I have never lied to my beau.
4. Because we have made it a point to build our relationship on the truth- even if it hurts sometimes.
I did tell him the truth and he basically said, "No problem, I'll see you another time." and later randomly told me how wonderful I was even though I broke our plans.
But why was I tempted to lie in the first place?
One of baggage's commenters hit it perfectly and I realized that it is yet another good reason why I left my fiance.
Now people tease me about what a crappy liar I am. I am. I stink at it because I always feel horribly guilty about even the tiniest lie and it shows.
I got better at it when I was with my fiance because I had no choice. Everything made him mad so I learned which things I could tell him and which things I couldn't. I still lied very rarely, but I did do it (and he caught me every time) or I'd get around it by saying nothing.
I'm so used to being with someone who would flip out or accuse me of not caring about him or of sleeping around that I didn't want to tell the truth.
I'm glad I told the truth anyway. I just told my beau the real deal- I made plans with someone else.
Phew.
And then after it seemed like no big deal at all and I wondered why I didn't just say so in the first place. I guess I still have some healing to do.
I recently wanted to lie to my new beau (yeah, there's someone).
I wanted to do something completely innocent but I screwed up my schedule and had two (actually three) sets of plans on the same day. I see my beau plenty so I wanted to keep the other plans. I was afraid he'd be mad. My first instinct was to lie.
I stopped myself.
1. Because I hate lying.
2. Because if I were to lie, I wouldn't be able to talk about my other plans ever.
3. Because I have never lied to my beau.
4. Because we have made it a point to build our relationship on the truth- even if it hurts sometimes.
I did tell him the truth and he basically said, "No problem, I'll see you another time." and later randomly told me how wonderful I was even though I broke our plans.
But why was I tempted to lie in the first place?
One of baggage's commenters hit it perfectly and I realized that it is yet another good reason why I left my fiance.
Now people tease me about what a crappy liar I am. I am. I stink at it because I always feel horribly guilty about even the tiniest lie and it shows.
I got better at it when I was with my fiance because I had no choice. Everything made him mad so I learned which things I could tell him and which things I couldn't. I still lied very rarely, but I did do it (and he caught me every time) or I'd get around it by saying nothing.
I'm so used to being with someone who would flip out or accuse me of not caring about him or of sleeping around that I didn't want to tell the truth.
I'm glad I told the truth anyway. I just told my beau the real deal- I made plans with someone else.
Phew.
And then after it seemed like no big deal at all and I wondered why I didn't just say so in the first place. I guess I still have some healing to do.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Accomplishments
After a busy weekend of school, my free weekend felt like a vacation. I did nothing Saturday. I let the dishes pile up and just played lazy all day and night. I ended up falling asleep watching TV around nine. I needed the rest.
Sunday I was motivated. I knew I would be- I hate a messy house. I still had a packed bag from the school weekend, a bunch of bags from errand running, that pile of dishes, laundry (clean and dirty) all over.
So I got to work. And the day felt so long and free that even though I spent hours playing guitar hero, I still accomplished a lot:
1. dishes
2. sorted and put away laundry
3. paid bills
4. got trash together including refrigerator emptying
5. took apart the heavy bed frame that had become a permanent fixture against the bedroom wall and stored it nicely
6. random picking up
Around 2 I turned off the computer. I think I need to do that more often. I use it as a break and let it suck up hours of my day, but once it was off, I didn't use it and I got more done. And my email was still there when I got up this morning.
Today, I got a bunch of stuff done at work.
Life is coming together. Being happy is good for me.
Sunday I was motivated. I knew I would be- I hate a messy house. I still had a packed bag from the school weekend, a bunch of bags from errand running, that pile of dishes, laundry (clean and dirty) all over.
So I got to work. And the day felt so long and free that even though I spent hours playing guitar hero, I still accomplished a lot:
1. dishes
2. sorted and put away laundry
3. paid bills
4. got trash together including refrigerator emptying
5. took apart the heavy bed frame that had become a permanent fixture against the bedroom wall and stored it nicely
6. random picking up
Around 2 I turned off the computer. I think I need to do that more often. I use it as a break and let it suck up hours of my day, but once it was off, I didn't use it and I got more done. And my email was still there when I got up this morning.
Today, I got a bunch of stuff done at work.
Life is coming together. Being happy is good for me.
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